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Home Alone 3 Reviewed By Tyler Sciortino Posted 03/05/03 07:58:56
"The Battlefield Earth of Recycled For-The-Money 'Movies'." (Total Crap)
A few hours ago I called Home Alone 2: Lost in New York "The Freddy Got Fingered of Recycled For-The-Money 'Movies'." Well, now I'm calling it's even worse sequel, Home Alone 3, The Battlefield Earth of Recycled For-The-Money 'Movies', which matches quite well, since Battlefield Earth, like Home Alone 3 is to Home Alone 2, as you know, is an even more unwatchable puddle of diaherea in a film canister.Much like the second 'film', the basic plot is an A-B-C rehash of the plot to the first Home Alone. The only difference here is that the kid is different, that there are 4 bandits instead of 2, and that this time they are breaking into the kid's house to find a million dollar chip that is in the kid's remote controlled car. Sound stupid? That's putting it mildly.Anyway, the acting here is even worse than it was in Part 2. The replacement kid for Culkin is dispicably annoying, the villians so badly lack screen presense that you'd think they picked the actors off the streets, and, well...that's it.The screenplay is one of the worst I ever had the misfortune of stumbling into. There is absolutely no originality, the "humor" has been 500,000,000,000,000 before in the originals, and the dialogue is catastrophophic.The directing is tedious and uninspired, the debut of hack Raja Gosnell. Some may say I'm being too harsh with someone who has only directed 4 films, but look at his fucking track record: this, Blue Streak, Big Momma's House, and Scooby-Doo. With this type of track record, he could end up following in the footsteps of post-Home Alone John Hugues and Chris Columbus as a true family film-aimed hack. Family films are fine, but they are the most intolerable genre when they are bad.And there is also made-for-TV sequel for this money-starved excuse for a movie, which is supposedly even worse. A TV movie? That's pretty desperate for franchise who's sequels are made soley for money. You'd at least make money from a direct-to-video film.Dire moviemaking at it's most money-hungry and below par. 0/10.
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