jorgewherecanidownloadmovies

DOWNLOAD MOVIE Major Payne Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
DIVX ($2.99)	DVD($4.99)	IPOD ($1.99)
Video Previews (divx):
File Name	Size:	Video preview
Major Payne (Video Preview).avi	15.62 MB	DOWNLOAD
The most interesting Screenshots for the "Major Payne" movie:

Major Payne Reviewed By Chef ADogg Posted 10/30/99 10:04:05

"Damon Wayans should fucking go to hell and eat fire. This sucks." (Total Crap)

Dude, I loved this movie in the fifth grade--I think that says a lot.Sometimes a movie comes along and makes you think; it raises questions and doesn't take the easy way out and provide the answers. "Major Payne" is one such film. Three principle questions arise after one initially views said film:a) How the FUCK did this get made?b) How the FUCK did Damon Wayans get another role after "Blankman"?and c), the most philosophically-bent one of them all:How can eighty minutes seem so LONG?Now, when there is a film like this, it is the reviewer's duty to strap on his thinking boots and wade through the swamp of higher-thinking, and provide the answers that the audience so craves.Fill our minds, you scream, with your critical wisdom.A'ight, then, just settle down and you'll all be served. I've thought long, deep, and hard (note to self: that would make a REALLY good name for a) a porno or b) the South Park sequel) on the questions posed by this thought provoking film, and here's what I've come up with:a) How the FUCK did this get made?Easy one. Look at "Major Payne"--just LOOK at it. It has pretty much the dumbest plot anyone ever came up with (and, yes, I DID see "Curly Sue"): this black army guy with a squeaky voice gets forced to run this ROTC camp for annoying kids. The kids are a bunch of pussies, and it is Payne's job to make them MEN. But Payne's not much of a man himself. Dude, Payne is a wuss. I could take that guy. The clumsy fuck would trip himself and then I'd kick his big damn bald head in. And then I'd point and laugh and mock his squeaky voice: "How you like me now, Blankman?" Anyhow, there's also a little bit of romance with Hilary from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air." There's a scene in this movie that I really like, where they're dancing in this club, her and Payne. And the funny part is supposed to be when Payne is exorcising his demons in a comedically inclined bit of robotic dance moves.But then Hilary bends over and waves her ass in the air. What the hell kind of dance move is that? In the movies, I've seen booty dancing, I've seen slow dancing, I've seen dirty dancing--but never before have I seen a dance sequence where the choregrapher's main job was to tell the the bitchy chick from "Fresh Prince" to shake her ass in rapid back and forth movements. Is that even dancing? I don't know. I really shouldn't complain, though. It gave me a boner.Am I getting off track? Alright, so the plot is bad. The acting is worse. Damon Wayans is the most famous Wayans brother, but that doesn't say much because Wayanses in general become famous by the sheer virtue of how annoying they are. Watching Damon act is like listening to Freddy Krueger scrape his nails across a chalkboard stretching into eternity.And I mean that. I really do.None of the other actors are worth mentioning--it's a bunch of goony kids playing stereotypes, who gives a shit. Hilary really doesn't do much. Near the beginning she has a few lines where she tells Payne to be nice and sensitive, and we're supposed to think she's a bitch, but then her heart begins to melt and we say, "Hey, she ain't that bad after all."It's character development.So, the answer to question a is this: How could anything this potentially bad NOT get made? This is America, you are idiots, let's move on.b) How the FUCK did Damon Wayans get another role after "Blankman"?Obviously he went to the head honcho of some big movie studio and did a bunch of his schtick and promised to stop once they gave him a three picture deal. (This also explains "Celtic Pride" and "Bulletproof.")c) How can eighty minutes seem so long?see answer A.When I got sick as a little kid, I would keep a big beige bucket handy in case I needed to blow a chunk or two. I put that bucket away when I was eight and could make it to the toilet successfully without spilling. After watching twenty minutes of this movie and becoming paralyzed, I asked my mom to bring me the bucket.She got there just in time.
download full movies
watch divx movies online
Major Payne full divx movie
Major Payne full movies
movies buy
watch english movies
full length films

white trash 2nd generation lyrics
singing lessons
onlinebootycall.net
superfantastico
lego castle set
toe touch basket toss
superfantasticpicturetime
easter word search games
justine henin pictures
billie holiday strange fruit