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Next Best Thing, The Reviewed By Michael Brendan Posted 03/15/00 14:31:00

"Is there a third option?" (Pretty Bad)

* 1/2 (out of four stars)-- "The Next Best Thing" is a movie with a decent idea, but whose execution is so hollow, I could almost hear the echoes of the actors as they tried breathing life into the one-dimensional cookie-cutter roles they've been given to play. The concept is there, but the emotion didn't bother to show up.The movie stars Madonna as Abbey, a yoga instructor involved a rocky relationship with a self-absorbed record executive (Michael Vartan). Her boyfriend is a walking, talking cure for codependency - a man so inconsiderate of anyone else, he could ignite the flames of anger in any reasonable human being without saying a word. (This guy is so emotionally cruel, he'd be stoned by the Amish.) But he is a pillar of strength for our beloved Abbey, who can't seem to live without him. One day after work, she returns home to see him (gasp!) packing his things. She immediately calls her best friend in the world, a gay landscaper named Robert (Rupert Everett). They soon get together, mulling over their miserable love lives and crying on each other's shoulder. After a few too many cocktails, they temporarily take their relationship to the next level - at least physically, which results in an unplanned pregnancy. They decide to have the baby, and remain a family - or rather, the next best thing.Things go smoothly for the first few years, but the inevitable complications soon arise, when Abbey falls in love with a nice businessman named Ben (Benjamin Bratt) - a development which causes Robert to become a tad defensive, especially with regards to their son, Sam (Malcolm Stumpf). Disagreements soon escalate to shouting matches, which in turn leads to the American judicial system. If the characters had any definition to their personalities, the movie might have had a chance. But Tom Ropelewski's script doesn't incoroporate interesting people into his interesting idea. One is tempted to blame Madonna for her bland portrayal, but I don't really think it's her fault. The character of Abbey is so underwritten, I can't see what she could have brought to the role without having the screenplay go through rewrite after rewrite. Her character is so pathetic at times, it just doesn't seem to ring true. I'd suspend my disbelief if I didn't think it'd be an insult to her. The engaging Rupert ("An Ideal Husband","My Best Friend's Wedding") Everett, who houses one of the most shining personalities in movies today, seems sadly bogged down by the script. As the third point to the "triangle," Benjamin Bratt really isn't given enough to do to remain memorable.The movie was directed by John Schlesinger - a very capable director of such movies as "Midnight Cowboy" and "The Falcon and the Snowman." If the script has bothered to create real characters with real lives and real motivations behind their actions and feelings, the movie would have undoubtably risen to the level anticipated by the filmmakers. I read there was a great deal of tinkering with the script, apparently to no avail. Starting from scratch isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it may be the next best thing.
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